Wow. It’s only two episodes in and already this season of The Bachelor is not off to a great start.

Folks were not thrilled when Arie was first announced as the Bachelor (you can still hear people chanting “Peter! Peter! Peter!” in the distance). And so far, Arie has done nothing to change our minds.

Last night’s ep had the first one-on-one dates and boy, they were a doozy.

The first date was with Becca K and Arie drove her off on his motorcycle to try on fancy clothes and jewelry.

What does he think this is, Pretty Woman? Because I don’t know if he got the memo but women aren’t interested in being saved by Prince Charming anymore – we’d rather save ourselves.

And that wasn’t even the worst date of the night.

Next up was Arie’s date with Krystal, aka everyone’s least favorite (although Chelsea is a close second). Arie decided his grand gesture would be to take Krystal to his hometown to meet… his entire family. I know The Bachelor is supposed to be an expedited process but meeting the parents on the first date is STILL CREEPY. Unless, of course, you’re 12 years old and your parents are driving you both to the movies.

the bachelor review
(ABC/Paul Hebert)

The bigger problem though is that Arie seems to lack any on-screen charisma what so ever. Every time he’s on a date he has this “deer in the headlights” look, as if he has no idea what he’s supposed to be doing. I know it’s been five years since he was on the show, but you would’ve thought he could have taken a refresher as to how to act on camera.

He also doesn’t seem to truly have chemistry with anyone. His makeout session with Chelsea week one was incredibly uncomfortable to watch and his kiss with Bekah this week wasn’t much better.

It’s a tough act to follow, going after Rachel Lindsay. Not only was she the first black Bachelorette, but she also had tons of charm and charisma plus a career as a kickass lawyer. And Nick may not have been everyone’s favorite but at least he had a distinctive personality, for better or worse. Meanwhile, Arie is such a dud that you could probably replace him next week and I wouldn’t even notice.

There was one good thing to come out of this week’s episode, however. When Jenny was kicked off and crying, she told Arie,

“I’m not sad about you. I’m sad about leaving my friends.”

Atta girl.

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Lena Finkel is the Editor and Founder of Femestella. Prior to starting Femestella, she worked at People, InStyle, and Tiger Beat. Her favorite Housewife is Bethenny Frankel (by far!), but when she’s not watching RHONY, you can probably find her hanging with her kitty Tom or tweeting at Sen. Chuck Schumer.

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