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Sexting is easier than ever, and its popularity is growing. It’s easy to find a sexting partner online who is into the same things you are, and it’s also easy to get caught if you’re sexting a bunch of people at the same time. That’s why a lot of people in sexting relationships wonder if they are exclusive or just one person in a crowd. Let’s talk about whether people tend to sext exclusively or play the field —and how to tell the difference.

Sexting Around

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Sexting someone casually is a fun, erotic outlet that lets you get to know someone at the same time. But why do people sext multiple at once? Well, for one, because it’s practical. Sexting is a way to shortcut dating and cut to the chase: orgasms without the time-drain of relationships. It’s a quick way to get what you want when you want it. However, everyone leads reasonably busy lives. Some people who want to ensure they don’t have to delay their pleasure a minute longer than necessary may like to have several sexting partners waiting in the wings.

Other people may sext around because they want to keep things casual. If you don’t have time for a relationship, it’s a good idea not to focus all your emotional energy on one person. Sexting multiple people can help prevent anyone from getting the wrong impression and catching feelings.

Another reason to sext multiple people is that you’re in an open relationship. Open relationships are common, and some estimates suggest that one out of every twenty-five couples is engaged in some form of polyamory.

Lastly, some people have undealt-with issues that are playing out in their romantic lives. Maybe they have insecurities from childhood and need love from multiple people to feel good about themselves. Perhaps they fear abandonment, so to play it safe, they always have someone on deck in case their current relationship doesn’t work out. Many people tend to have secret relationships because they don’t view sexting as cheating. Some people are reluctant to place all of their trust in one person, so they try to get their needs met through a network of people. In any case, if someone is sexting multiple people without their partner’s knowledge or consent, it’s definitely a violation of trust.

Committed Sexting

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Sexting is often thought of as a behavior only involved in casual sexual encounters. But the data doesn’t support this. In fact, studies have shown that sexting is prevalent among all adults, but it occurs most often between people in committed relationships. This sex chat host goes a step further and says that even though she is paid to sext other people, the connection is built upon empathy and connection — not just arousal.

It may sound counterintuitive, but sometimes sexting leads to the beginning of a relationship. What started as casual fun turned into a trusting relationship based on mutual respect. It sounds far-fetched, but it does happen, and for a good reason. Who wouldn’t want to lock down a person whose appeal is so overwhelming that they can turn you on from afar? It’s practically magic.

And yet, there’s also a limbo phase. You’ve been sexting for a while and would like more, but it can be hard to know if you’re on the same page. Your partner may even be sexting others since they are not under any obligation to tell you if you’ve acknowledged this situation is casual and non-monogamous. Understanding where your sexting relationship is headed is tricky.

How to Know Where Your Sexting Situationship Stands

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If you’re concerned that your partner is sexting a bunch of people who aren’t you, there’s good news and bad news. The good news is that there’s a pretty easy way to find out — assuming the person you’re sexting with is trustworthy. The bad news is that you’re going to have to ask them directly. Going through their phone is a bad idea if you ever want them to trust you. So, you’re going to have to show your hand (and your feelings!) and ask whether or not you are solo sexting buddies. Having the where-do-we-stand talk in a relationship can be intimidating, but it’s also important to express yourself to your partner. If you can’t be honest about your concerns, you probably will not continue to sext without feeling resentful. Gather your courage and bring things out in the open. You’ll undoubtedly be glad you did.

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