You know I love me some Ariana Grande.
The girl has made a few mistakes along the way (she’s only human!) but for the most part, she’s been a great role model.
But her recently released music video for “Boyfriend” (below) seems counter-intuitive to her whole women-supporting-women ethos and I just can’t get on board with that.
The video features a toxic couple (aka Ariana and Mikey Foster) that refuse to define the relationships and yet don’t want to see each other with other people. It’s a pretty common situation these days, for two people to be in relationship limbo.
As Mikey flirts with various women, Ariana decides to take them down — first with a straight-up fistfight and then with a bow and arrow.
But here’s where the problem comes in: Being jealous of your dude hanging with other girls is totally normal. But taking it out on the girls themselves is not ok.
Instead of taking it out on the guy when he flirts with other women, or even cheats, girls often take out their rage on “the other woman.” Naturally, situations differ, but when the girl is just an innocent bystander (like in Ariana’s case) there’s absolutely no reason to attack.
Of course, Ariana didn’t come up with this concept. We see this kind of thing every day. Just think of Khloe Kardashian and Jordyn Woods. Instead of blaming Tristan for cheating, Khloe placed 100% of the blame on Jordyn, even going so far as to say that she “destroyed her family.” Now you can debate how much of a role Jordyn played in the cheating incident, but letting Tristan off the hook completely? What’s the deal?
This idea has become so common at this point that we almost expect women to attack each other over a guy. So I certainly can’t entirely blame Ariana for showing a situation that society has already deemed as “normal.”
That being said, Ariana has a chance to change things. And as a self-proclaimed feminist, she has a duty to think carefully about her actions towards other women.
Ariana herself even explained the importance of women supporting women. Back in 2017, she said,
“Misogyny is ever-present, and we have to be there to support one another. That’s really it. It’s about the sisterhood. There’s no competing in that. We have to lift each other up, not try and claw each other down.”
For the most part, she’s exemplified this. But the “Boyfriend” video is just super off-brand.
I’m hoping this is going to be a one-off mistake. I certainly don’t enjoy criticizing Ariana, especially when she should have known better.
Regardless, I still stan Ariana as the feminist queen she is and look forward to when this music video will just be a blip on the radar.
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Lena Finkel is the Editor and Founder of Femestella. Prior to starting Femestella, she worked at People, InStyle, and Tiger Beat. Her favorite Housewife is Bethenny Frankel and when she’s not watching RHONY, you can probably find her obsessing over her tuxedo cat Tom or hoarding drugstore lipsticks.