Harry Styles and the Need to Ask People About Their Sexuality

harry styles sexuality queer
credit: Cubankite/Shutterstock.com

2020 is going to be the year of Harry Styles.

This year alone, he turned heads at the Met Gala, hosted and performed on SNL, and released his amazing sophomore album Fine Line. But going into the new year, maybe we can stop asking Harry (and people in general) about their sexuality?

Harry’s sexuality has been a topic of conversation since the “Watermelon Sugar” singer was a teenager. 1D fans swore up and down that something was going on with Harry and bandmate Louis Tomlinson; which ended up causing tension between the boys. And recently, HBO’s Euphoria thought it would be a good idea to include an animated sex scene involving Harry and Louis without their consent.

Despite being openly supportive of the LGBTQ community for years, Harry has remained quiet about his own sexuality. But during a recent interview with The Guardian‘s Tom Lamont, Harry finally addressed the rumors that have been following him around.

And his response was refreshing.

“It’s not like I’m sitting on an answer, and protecting it, and holding it back. It’s not a case of: I’m not telling you ’cause I don’t want to tell you. It’s not: ooh this is mine and it’s not yours. It’s: who cares? Does that make sense? It’s just: who cares?

Since leaving One Direction, Harry has also experimented with gender-fluid fashion, which has only fueled questions about his identity. But to Harry, it’s not that deep. He’s just expressing himself.

“What women wear. What men wear. For me, it’s not a question of that. If I see a nice shirt and get told, ‘But it’s for ladies.’ I think: ‘Okaaaay? Doesn’t make me want to wear it less though.’ I think the moment you feel more comfortable with yourself, it all becomes a lot easier.”

He continued.

“A part of it was having, like, a big moment of self-reflection. And self-acceptance. I think it’s a very free, and freeing, time. I think people are asking, ‘Why not?’ a lot more. Which excites me. It’s not just clothes where lines have been blurred, it’s going across so many things.”

Harry hit the nail on the head.

Harry’s answers to Tom’s incredibly personal questions may seem like he’s continuing to dodge a bullet about his sexuality because he still doesn’t give the public a “yes” or “no” answer. But in reality, his answers are perfect and people need to leave it at that.

No one ever asks a straight, cisgender person about their sexuality, so why is it that people have an intrinsic need to know someone’s sexuality or gender identity when they don’t fit into the social norm? How a person identifies is no one’s business, unless they choose to share it with you.

There’s nothing inherently wrong about asking someone how they identify. But ask yourself why you have the need to ask them? Are you trying to make sure you’re using the right pronouns? Or are you asking to make yourself more comfortable?

As the world continues to evolve and we learn more about sexuality, it’s clear that sexuality is fluid and gender is a construct. And if you’re continuously asking someone about their sexuality so they can be placed in a box, know that it’s not only rude, it’s invasive.

Harry let Tom know there were no hard feelings about the questions during the interview. People just need to know they aren’t always going to get the answer they want.

“What I would say, about the whole being-asked-about-my-sexuality thing — this is a job where you might get asked. And to complain about it, to say you hate it, and still do the job, that’s just silly. You respect that someone’s gonna ask. And you hope that they respect they might not get an answer.”

One day, Harry might give us an answer, but in all honesty, it’s not important. All we need to know is that Harry is in a place where he can freely express himself, and that’s all that matters. And remember, someone’s physical appearance has no bearing on their sexuality.


Harry Styles, Sexual Assault, and Fandoms. We Need to Talk.

Alysia Stevenson
Alysia Stevenson is a twenty-seven New York City transplant currently living in Florida with her boyfriend and three furbabies. When she's not writing, you can find her watching beauty tutorials on Youtube or Parks and Rec for the millionth time.