Netflix 'You' Star Shalita Grant Breaks Down Sherry and Cary's Secret Lifestyle: 'It's About More Than Just Sex'

you netflix season 3
courtesy Netflix
Warning: Major Spoilers Ahead

When Joe Goldberg and Love Quinn move to Madre Linda at the beginning of You season 3, they have no idea just how close-knit the community is. But they’re about to find out.

After befriending the neighborhood power couple Sherry and Cary Conrad, they’re eventually invited to join “the lifestyle” — code for swinging. But they end up getting a lot more than they bargained for. Because not every foursome ends with kidnapping and throwing your BFFs in a cage, right?

you entflix sherry conrad actress shalita grant
courtesy Netflix

Actress Shalita Grant, who plays momfluencer Sherry, recently broke down “the lifestyle” and how the couple uses it to wield power to their advantage.

Speaking with Oprah Daily, she said,

“For Sherry and Cary, the swinging is more than just sex. It’s also power — the power of swinging with the school principal and being able to email him, knowing he’s going to get stuff done for you. It’s holding people’s secrets, and giving people an opportunity to be vulnerable.”

Of course, Sherry and Cary end up discovering a pretty big secret — one they’re not ready to keep. But Joe and Love can’t take a chance on this one. So naturally, they attack their friends, drag them into their murder cage, and leave them there until they can decide what to do with them.

netflix you season 3 shalita grant sherry conrad
courtesy Netflix

But before the whole cage thing went down, the foursome was going well… kind of. I mean, Sherry and Cary seemed to be having a good time, right?

Ok, actually, the whole thing was kind of a sexy hot mess. But according to Shalita, that’s pretty accurate as far as swinging is concerned. She explained,

“It’s really true to life. I don’t know if you’ve ever swung, but it’s… sexy, then it’s awkward. Then hopefully no one dies.”


She added,

“But it can be a bit terrifying at times.”

you netflix sherry and cary shalita grant
courtesy Netflix

Fortunately for the actors, the whole thing wasn’t as awkward on set as it was on camera. So while Joe might have been freaking out, the cast was well-taken care of IRL. Shalita recalled,

“[Showrunner] Sara [Gamble] is really protective of her set. We had intimacy coordinators to keep things professional. You’re acting, but there are a lot of things that can go wrong, as we’ve seen.”

Yes, a foursome ending in a cage would definitely count as “things going wrong.” But according to Shalita, when you’re getting ready for an orgy, you have to be down for anything, even it’s not what you expected. She said,

“[The cage] might be at an S&M club. I have some experience in that world, and you want to be prepared for everything. The way that the sequence starts, you think it knows where it’s going, and then it ends up somewhere else.”

Well, Sherry Cary, Joe, and Love’s night definitely did end up “somewhere else,” that’s for sure.

you netflix season 3 shalita grant
courtesy Netflix

Luckily for Sherry and Cary, they are two of the few to survive Joe and Love’s murder spree. It’s actually kind of a miracle. And the couple isn’t one to waste an opportunity. After surviving the cage, they go on to turn their experience into a book and a TED Talk. Always looking for the silver lining, those Conrads!

Watch Sherry and Cary survive the cage on Netflix, where you can stream You season 3.


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Lena Finkel
Lena Finkel is the Editor and Founder of Femestella. Prior to starting Femestella, she worked at People, InStyle, Tiger Beat, and Sesame Workshop (aka Sesame Street). She loves all things Real Housewives and Vanderpump Rules. When she's not busy binge-watching TV, you can find her hanging out with her tuxedo cat Tom.