'RHOP' Reunion: Trying to Find Empathy For Candiace Dillard Bassett

rhop candiace monique

This week’s episode concluded the three-part Real Housewives of Potomac reunion and season five as a whole.

A big part of the reunion was, of course, a discussion of the altercation that went down between Monique Samuels and Candiace Dillard Bassett.

The fight went on to affect the rest of the season as all of the housewives dealt with the fallout.

rhop reunion recap review

Despite Monique being the one who took things physical, grabbing Candiace’s hair and refusing to let go, viewers have largely sided with her over Candiace.

Fans seem to have had a difficult time having empathy for Candiace. Just read through Twitter and you’ll see countless tweets about how Candiace “deserved it” and how she had been “asking” to be dragged.

On top of that, fans have called Candiace’s crying “crocodile tears.”

rhop reunion monique candiace

As a viewer since season one, I also find it difficult to have empathy for her. On an intellectual, I know that violence is *never* ok and that nobody deserves to be attacked like that.

But on an emotional level, it’s hard to see someone like Candiace get attacked and not feel like there isn’t a bit of karma at play.

For years, Candiace said malicious, vile things about Ashley Darby both to her face and on Twitter without an apology. She’s also provoked several of her castmates on numerous occasions, including an incident at a hoedown last season where she demanded that a very-pregnant Monique “drag her.”

rhop candiace dillard reunion recap

But, it’s important to remember that, deep down, perhaps deep deep down, Candiace is a human being with feelings. I can only imagine how painful it is to have the entire internet attacking you, telling you that you’re a bad person who “deserved” to be physically attacked.

At the end of the day, crocodile tears or not, Candiace is a real person, not a character on a television show. It can be difficult to remember that sometimes.

As many people have said on the show, hurt people hurt people. Clearly, Candiace has suffered some real hurt in her life that has led to her words and actions on the show and her treatment of her fellow castmates.

So, next time you want to write something nasty on social media about Candiace, try to remember that there is a human being at the other end of the screen, reading your comments, and hurting very deeply. Let’s kill her with kindness instead.

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Lena Finkel
Lena Finkel is the Editor and Founder of Femestella. Prior to starting Femestella, she worked at People, InStyle, Tiger Beat, and Sesame Workshop (aka Sesame Street). She loves all things Real Housewives and The Challenge. When she's not busy binge-watching TV, you can find her taking an absurd amount of photos of her tuxedo cat Tom.