'Riverdale': Archie Andrews Is Officially *The Worst* Boyfriend Ever

Riverdale is in it’s third, incredibly confusing season that makes no real sense whatsoever. And since the show is so outrageous, why not make Archie more annoying?

Whenever I watch it, I get all googly-eyed when KJ Apa comes on screen, but then ten seconds later Archie does something stupid and I want to punch him in the face.

I grew up reading the Archie comics and I don’t remember Archie being such a self-righteous fuckboy. Since the show started, his decisions have always been questionable. He doesn’t stop to think about how his actions will affect those around them, he constantly thinks about himself.

And don’t even get me started on his woe-is-me attitude. His best friend lives in the slums and is basically a biker gang prince. The girl-next-door who’s been in love with him since they were (and who he treats like crap) has a million and one problems going on. His girlfriend’s dad is a mafioso. But what does Archie worry about? How he’s torn and stressed out because he can’t choose music or football. It’s the 21st century, do what you want. Minus his dad getting shot, Archie is your stereotypical, straight white man who complains that he has it harder than everyone else.

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Photo: Riverdale / Facebook

However, the biggest issue with Archie is his treatment of Veronica and the other women in his lives. Archie is really good at putting women on unnecessary emotional roller coasters.

Let’s start with Betty. From the start, we know that she’s basically head over heels in love with Archie, and he just doesn’t care if he hurts her. He gave her some BS about how he loved her but wasn’t in love with her, but when she and Jughead became a thing, he felt some kind of way. Fast forward to a break-up and he and Betty make out, but it was a “mistake.” Yeah, okay.

He tore the badass group Josie and the Pussycats apart when he decided to sing with Val. The Pussycats were my favorite when Riverdale started. A strong, beautiful, Black band that never once doubted their talent. I needed them in every episode, but I didn’t get that because Archie couldn’t keep it in his pants.

Then there’s Veronica. The girls that Archie hangs with are way too good for him. But Veronica deals with his crap on a larger scale. Veronica would literally do anything for Archie, and he just continues to shit on her. His behavior towards her could fit the category of someone who is emotionally abusive.

riverdale archie andrews
Photo: Riverdale / Facebook

Remember the episode when Veronica didn’t tell Archie she loved him back? Instead of trying to understand from the jump that maybe she wasn’t ready for that, what did he do? Did he talk to her about how it bothered him like a mature human being? No, he made her feel guilty.

She’s also told him constantly not to get involved with her father’s business as it’s not a life she wants for herself… but he did anyway, causing even more drama. She even broke him out of jail and then he skipped town without giving her a proper goodbye.

Things need to turn around for Veronica. The biggest change that is needed is for her to have her own storyline. One that doesn’t revolve around Archie. She’s in high school, owns Pop’s, and runs the speakeasy. She is a certified badass who is way too good for Archie.

On the bright side, Veronica might just have an out. I’ve noticed that she and Reggie have become increasingly close over the last few episodes. Finally, on this week’s midseason premiere, they kissed, and boy was I happy. While I do think Veronica should be single for a while, I love the idea of her with Reggie, who started off annoying but is slowly turning around. He seems like the type who would do anything for Veronica and I really think that their relationship can flourish into something amazing.

I often wonder if showrunners are making Archie intolerable on purpose. The creators of Orange is the New Black did the same thing with their titular character Piper Chapman. If that’s the case, then I can deal with it. But until then, Archie can take his toxicity elsewhere.


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Photo: Riverdale / Facebook

Alysia Stevenson
Alysia Stevenson is a twenty-seven New York City transplant currently living in Florida with her boyfriend and three furbabies. When she's not writing, you can find her watching beauty tutorials on Youtube or Parks and Rec for the millionth time.