Dear Rose McGowan: It's Not Us, It's You

Dear Rose McGowan: On behalf of feminists everywhere, I’m breaking up with you.

Your erratic outbursts, your irrational attacks on women, and your narcissism have reached an all-time high. It’s just not what the women’s rights movement is about.

To catch the rest of you up: Rose recently gave an interview in which she attacked leaders of the #MeToo and #TimesUp movement (note: not the movements themselves) and then threw a hissy fit about not getting invited to their parties. And I quote:

“I just think they’re douchebags. They’re not champions. I just think they’re losers. I don’t like them. How do I explain the fact that I got a GQ Man of the Year award and no women’s magazines and no women’s organizations have supported me?”

She then adds that she has not been invited to any of the big events held by the #TimesUp organization and said,

“And I don’t want to go, because it’s all bullshit. It’s a lie. It’s a Band-Aid lie to make them feel better. I know these people, I know they’re lily-livered, and as long as it looks good on the surface, to them, that’s enough.”

Wow, that’s a lot to unpack. Let’s start with the name-calling.

As we’ve learned from our dear president, name-calling is never productive. I understand that she disagrees with the way the leaders of the movements have handled things, but there is a way to disagree with other women without attacking them. We get enough attacks from men already, we don’t need women hating on other women.

I completely understand why she would be upset with how things are playing out. I’m also not thrilled with many things that have occurred since the Women’s March. I don’t agree with the #TimesUp leaders’ decision to wear all black to the Golden Globes. And I certainly don’t agree with Alyssa Milano, a white woman, and her decision to take credit for starting #MeToo, which was indisputably started by Tarana Burke, a black woman, years ago. Her actions and interviews have made her the poster child for white feminism.

But calling people “losers” is really not the solution here.

And then there’s her hissy over not getting invited to events, which is childish and very Trump-esque. And maybe if Rose were just *a little* more supportive of these women then they’d invite her.

I love women who aren’t afraid to speak their minds and the way Rose went after Harvey Weinstein and Ben Affleck was totally badass. But if you can’t also learn to play nice with others then you won’t make it very far.

There are a lot of problems within the women’s rights movement right now, most notably the exclusion of women of color. But if Rose really wants to fix those issues (rather than continuing with the “band-aid fix” she speaks of), then she needs to take real, concrete action. And that doesn’t include name-calling.